“We don’t have to enjoy every moment in our story for it to be ours”

Tell us about your Journey to scheduling a Boudoir Session. What were your reasons for doing one? Have you wanted to do a session for some time OR was this decision impulsive?

“ I had been following the studio page for about 8 months before booking my appointment, and then had another 9 month period before my session. That period of time was up and down with wondering if I should go through with it, debating on whether or not I should spend the money, trying (and not quite succeeding) to lose a few pounds, but also thinking about the few years I’ve been through, some of the dark places I’ve been, the way I’d been treated by people who were facing their own struggles or demons. All of which I continued to overcome mentally, and I feel made me a stronger person by anticipating this day. I had to knowingly make the decision to rise above the bullshit, see myself for how others see me, and remind myself of my own confidence. And thank God for that!”

f you wanted to do a session in the past but didn’t, what was hindering you from taking the leap?  What was the tipping point in you finally deciding to do a session?

“ Before I even started following the page, I had seen a couple acquaintances post their images from the shoots (both being personal trainers at my gym), and my immediate thought was “Well, must be nice to have a body like that to pose like that.” And rolled my eyes, and thought negative things to myself for a few minutes, before completely writing off the idea and moving on with my life. It wasn’t until another few weeks later, I started following the page, and began to read some of the stories, and see the amazing photos of women from all kinds of situations, with bodies of all shapes and sizes, and was able to look past the image, and see the inner beauty, and what was truly being captured, before I thought, “I could totally do this.”          Over the next few months, I saw more images of some others that I know, and read their stories. During this time, I was dealing with some personal things that truly beat me down and shook my confidence. The holiday season last year ended rough, yet I was able to come into the new year feeling stronger than ever. I saw a post about a deal (for Valentines Day maybe?), and I just felt so compelled to do it.. no matter what.  To avoid going into complete detail, let me explain… I am just an ordinary, young woman. I do not have any kids, I’ve never been married, I have not had a battle with any sort of disease, or any ‘brush with death’ experience. I have had my heart broken, I’ve been used and abused; I’ve partied my brains out, slept around, and was a couch surfer for months in my late teenage/early adult years. I took the things in my life for granted, and now, a decade later, am still cleaning up the messes I made (hello, debt).  But this past year, for the first time in my adult life, I am SO good. I am in a career I love, I have amazing friends and family, who have been there with me through the ups and downs, I have a home that I love, with a man that I love, who treats me the way a hardworking, loving, beautiful woman should be treated. And I see my future panning out the way I’ve always wanted it to, but could never quite get it right. It was time for me to grab hold, and with all of this good in my life, I wanted to showcase it, and award myself for overcoming the struggles that I had been through, and to show all those who thought it was okay to beat me down, “Look at me now, b*itches”.

 

How did you hear about us and any particular reason you chose Nicole Marie Boudoir?

“As I explained, I learned through social media and mutual friends; I think the biggest thing for me was that I could sense Nicole and Gina’s personalities through what I saw them post, and how they interact, and I just felt like I’d be comfortable with them, and felt like, in a way, I already knew them”

How did you feel in the days leading up to your shoot?

“ Nervous, but excited.. Curious, yet careless.. Pissed off about the zit that popped up a few days before, and being on the brink of PMS, but repeatedly saying “Fuck it, I’m gonna rock it”. This biggest lesson I’ve learned the past couple years, with the help of my friends and family, this photo session experience, and taking charge of my mental health, is that we control our lives, our thoughts, and our futures. It’s amazing how much can change when you flip that switch from “I could never do that” to “I’m totally gonna do that!” We don’t have to enjoy every moment in our story for it to be ours”

How would you describe the actual session experience?  How did it feel to be in front of the camera?

Amazing, Glamorous, Sexy,

I definitely felt a little awkward at times, but Nicole made it feel effortless and gave great instructions.  I do know a few things I’d be more mindful of the next time around, having done it once now.

How did you feel after the shoot?  What was your favorite part of the session?

Elated, confident, sexy, accomplished, proud

Finding the balance of your inner struggles and your inner strength is definitely something to be celebrated!

Thank you for giving me this experience!

What was your feeling when you saw your photos for the first time? Did your boudoir experience change the way you see yourself?

“ WOW!!! My self-confidence has been completely altered since then, in a way that I didn’t know possible. The photos are stunning.Some of them I feel like I don’t recognize myself, because I hadn’t looked at myself that way. The images I love most are the ones that capture a certain look in my eyes… Maybe it’s just me, but in some of them, I see the sadness I’ve experienced, and the heartbreak I’ve been through, and the exhaustion I’ve felt, and some of the stories that even my closest friends don’t know. When I was 16/17 years old, after suffering from a serious heartbreak (kidding, but I was like a child, who knew??), and going through some minor depression cause life as a teenage is just so hard… I wrote a poem/song called “Behind Her Eyes” that touched on some of my inner struggles. To most people, I was the hot girl who was friends with all the guys, and drank and smoked, etc, but there were so many nights I would cry myself to sleep, or drink myself to oblivion because it was the only way I felt confident in my own skin. That song is the reason I have an eye tattooed on my back, and the reason I’m so proud of myself now”

What would you tell someone that was still on the fence about having a session done?

DO IT. Hands down, no questions asked… Don’t think about it, just do it.  I didn’t tell a lot of people about the session before going to do it, because I was nervous I wouldn’t like them, or I wouldn’t look good, or that people would ask about it and I’d be embarrassed to show them. I have never been more proud of myself for letting loose and having fun with it, and I love how much the photos show so many different aspects of me and my personality.  There are now very few people in my life who aren’t aware of this session and the amazing experience of it all!

 

 

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